Why did you screw up Firefox 3?

Why did you have to make it suck?

Firefox 1.5 was wonderful. 2.0, even better. 3.0, not so much.
Now you tell me I have to go to 3.0 to be secure. You know how to get to me. You know I have to secure my machine. You know I have a compulsion to patch, workaround and lock down machines to the point of being almost unusable in the name of security.

Why are you doing this to me?

I despise 3.0. It took away the whole list of typed URLs, and replaced it with 10 URLs that i’ve visted and you think are most important.

Do I go around telling you what website are best? No…  I don’t.
Please fix it. Make it not suck. Please.

Thanks to Grant for pointing this blog. I can tell there will be hours of entertainment from this little jewel.

I have played in a number of worship band over the years, and the upward progression of Metro has been constant. I am realistic enough to know that the odds of Matt being the last worship pastor I play with are slim, so I can only imagine how metro the next guy will be.

Matt, I hate to do this, but I feel obligated to score you on the quiz “Understanding how Metrosexual your worship pastor is. (A handy guide)”

I will follow Grant’s lead and keep a running score after each change.

1. Has a faux hawk hair style = +1
Matt has been known to sport the faux-hawk from time to time

Score – 1

2. Has more product in his hair than your wife = +1
Matt has enough product in his hair for 3 worship team members wives. Sadly I can only count this once.

Score – 2
3. Has Rob Bell, black rimmed glasses = +1
No glasses

4. They are not prescription, but just for effect = +2
N/A

5. Attends the Catalyst Conference = +3
Not that I am aware of..

6. Performs at the Catalyst Conference = +10
N/A

7. Owns Puma, Vans or Diesel sneakers = +2 per each pair
I’m almost completely positive that Matt owns these. I’m not sure how many, so I’ll say one

Score – 4

8. Wears jeans on stage = +1
Lately, yes

Score – 6

9. Wears designer jeans on stage = +2

I’m gonna say yes

Score – 8

10. Wears Wrangler or Rustler jeans on stage = -3

Would never be a chance.

11. Has a goatee = +2
Nope… but that would be an “interesting” look for you Matt.
12. Wears one of those Castro revolution looking hats = +2

Why don’t you do this??? This would be awesome.

13. Drinks coffee on stage = +1

No, but I think vitamin water has to count for something.

14. Drinks some kind of coffee you did not know existed = +2

15. Brings a French Press on stage and makes his own coffee during service = +5

16. Has a handlebar mustache = -3

I wish so much that I could deduct 3 points here. I would pay good money to see Matt with a handlebar mustache.

17. Good at Frisbee but hates getting all “sweaty” = +1

This is Matt —

Score – 9

18. Has a haircut that covers one of his eyes while singing = +1
See Faux-Hawk above… no points here.

19. Owns a white belt = +2
It wouldn’t surprise me, but I can’t prove it. I’m going to give one point for the doubts.

Score – 10

20. Owns suspenders = -3

Not a chance.

21. Wears a scarf with a t-shirt = +1

No, but I would not be surprised to see it.

22. Wears a winter knit hat even in the summer = +2

Wow.. Matt, I think you actually may be less metro than I thought.

23. You think he covered a My Chemical Romance song last week = +3

I did hear him cover “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” By U2. +1

Score – 11

24. Drives an Audi or VW, silver of course = +2

Drives a pick-up I’m going to subtract a point here… I think its worthy

Score – 10

25. Uses the words, “postmodern, relevant” or “emergent” nonstop = +2

Back up two points… Relevant…

Score – 12

26. Cringes a little when people say the “H word.” (Hymnal) = +3

Matt has a love-hate relationship with hymns (See Senior Adult Sunday) Lets say +1

Score – 13

27. Has ever said some form of the phrase, “That song is so 1990s” = +1
Score – 14

28. Owns a Grizzly Adams red and black flannel shirt = -2
No worries here..

29. Named his kid after a color or a number = +2
No kids..

30. References Norwegian punk bands you’ve never heard of = +2

This is Matt. I wish I could add 1000 points.

Score – 16

31. Wears a tie = -1

Never seen him wear a tie.

32. Wears a tie as a belt = +2

Sure, give him ideas.

33. Looks as if he might exfoliate = +2
Nah…

34. Has a man bag or European Carry All = +2

This day is coming – +1

Score – 17

35. Brings said bag on stage with him = +2
I think he’s better than this…

36. Has a tattoo = +2
Nah…

37. Has a visible tattoo = +4
N/A

38. Wife accompanies him on stage and plays tambourine = -4
Please for the love, I have to see Karen playing a tambourine…

39. Was formerly in a punk new wave band = +2
I’m gonna say not punk, but I have heard the CD… +1

Score – 18

40. Knows the names of all the people on the scripted MTV show, “the Hills” = +3
Undetermined at this time.

41. Refuses to drink anything but Vitamin Water = +2
Score – 20

42. Your wife ever says, “he needs a barrette for his hair.” = +2
Only because she hasn’t thought of it..

43. Has a nickname with “the” in it, as in “the edge,” = +2
This must be corrected… Next time this survey is completed for Matt he will earn 2 points.

44. Owns every Nooma video = +2
I had to google this one. No points for you!

45. Has a soul patch = +3
Again, please Matt, make this happen. Of course it always makes me think of this cartoon

46. Won’t play barefoot on stage until he gets a pedicure = +2
Thankfully i’ve never seen him barefoot on stage.

47. Refers to California as “the left coast” = +2
Score – 22
48. Currently subscribes to Dwell or Details magazine = +2
N/A
49. Owns a pair of lady jeans = +2
Dear Lord I hope not.

50. Twitters you from his iPhone = +2

Despite his Mac habit, he does not have an IPhone and I have never gotten a twitter.

51. His toddler dresses cooler than you = +2
I’m going to go ahead and give him 2 points for this, because when he has a toddler, they will dress cooler than me.

Score – 24

52. He wears graphic t-shirts over button down, long sleeve shirts = +2
Over? No…

53. Ever says “we got a hot mic here” = -4
Nah, he’s much more creative.

54. Shops at the Gap = 0

Why did we put this in here if it doesn’t add or subtract points?

55. Shops at Urban Outfitters = +2

If we had one, he’d be there… +1

Final Score – 25

Ok, Well Matt.. you passed pretty well. You’re metrosexual level is lower than i thought it would be.

I have a glorious 50″ Widescreen HDTV of nothingness right now. I plugged my satellite receiver back in after the storms last night only to be met with a constant reboot cycle. I had about 30 hours of stuff recorded on the DVR including my child’s favorite show (Blue Man Group: How to Be a Rock Star Tour).

Now the moving “No Video Signal” banner taunts me as if to say “Now what, allergy boy?” “You are allergic to the entire world this time of year so getting outside isn’t feasible… now you have no satellite TV goodness. Victory is mine!”

Stupid “No Video Signal” banner.

My son is looking at the TV, and if he could talk he would be saying (with his most dissapointed face) “Daddy, why can’t the blue man come on?”

I must have a DVI-HDMI cable. I must rescue this situation. Hulu, don’t forsake me now.Come on DVD collection… ham radio, i’ll need you too. Must…entertain… self….

*end transmission*.

Ok, this one can just speak for itself.

Get the audio here

Ah… Arkansas…

Makes me really glad to be headed back home to alabama today.

High schoolers.. Thank you for showing up tonight at open mic night. You guys rock. You showed a a great deal of initiative. You have no idea how much our middle schoolers look up to you.

I have made a video about being real. It contains footage from tonights event.

We had a blast! Enjoy the video!