When Ann and I left Arkansas a year and a half ago, we both agreed that we didn’t forsee any reason to go back. Ever. Sure, there were some people we liked, cared about and even a few who we had become good friends with. When we left, there were some hurt feelings and I will be the first to tell you that those hurt feelings were justified. I left the way I did because I didn’t see another option, but it still wasn’t a great way to leave.

A few weeks ago we decided that it was time to go back and visit some of the people we had left behind, and all in all we had a great visit. I’m really glad we went back because I feel like I got to wrap up some lose ends I left undone.

On the lighter side, here are some things we decided that we missed or didn’t miss from Little Rock

Things I miss about Little Rock:

• My boss
• The great friends we made (including my boss), even though most of them don’t live in Little Rock any more.
• “The Palatial Citadel Radio Center”©
• Radio People
• Whole Hog BBQ
• Fu Lin Chineese
• Cozymel’s
• Peanut butter milkshakes from the Purple Cow
• Java Roasting Company
• Being 2 miles from a Target
• Being 6 miles from a Rave Theatre
• Having free reign over my schedule, so long as the job got done. (I never came in under 40 hours unless I meant to).
• High Powered Transmitters
• The smell of 50+ year old electronics at a transmitter site.
• The wisdom of some of the most respected people in Broadcasting, and having their approval for a job well done.
• Messing with DJs and News people.
• The shock value of telling someone directions that included “When the Interstate comes to a traffic light, turn right”.

Things I Don’t Miss about Little Rock

• Crazy, horrible drivers
• That obnoxious “woo-pig-sooie” thing
• Rent that costs more per month than my weekly salary (The rent there would almost be more than I make in a week now, just misses by a few $)
• There really isn’t much to do in Little Rock when you take going to a bar out of the equation.
• Eating too much of the wrong things (see my “Things I miss” list above)
• Drama from radio people
• Screwed up roads.
• “Clinton” anything.
• Being away from family.
• Being on call all the time, although it did give me something to do when I was bored.
• Guitar Center (if that’s the best music store you’ve got, i’ll just do without, thanks).
• Sadly, I don’t miss the church I attended simply because I really wasn’t there long enough to really get attached, and what time I was there the place was in a total state of flux. No offense to anyone from there. I do miss lots of people from church who became great friends, but I don’t miss the church as a whole.

I guess you can gather that this list is not comprehensive, and I hope everyone can read the list and not get offended (or the big-head, depending on which section you fall under).

Moving to Little Rock was the best thing ever for my career, it made my marraige incredibly strong because we had to rely on one another and I gained so much life experience from my time there. In the end, it came down to being with my family and making “mama happy” (Ann being “mama” in this situation). A wise man told me once that “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”. How true.

I won’t say that my life now is better in every way, but it is so great to be home. It’s great to really feel at home.

That quote comes from Dan Case’s blog. Dan is a friend and former boss of mine and this isn’t at all the first time that Dan has said something that stopped me in my tracks.

Dan is one of the people who stood by Ann and I when we found out that something was wrong and we would likely lose Caed.  I had a lot of people around me who were great and provided such great support but Dan and I had a special connection. I think Dan probably had the perfect boss/employee relationship, we respected one another and it showed. We were really a team. More importantly we held each other up. Dan supported me for the long months between finding out we would lose Caed and actually losing him.

I am rambling, but the point I am trying to make is that over the last few years I have earned a few scars. Some of those wounds behind the scars have been deep.. very, very deep. Losing a child and leaving a job I loved have proven to be some of the hardest things I have ever done. I know that wounds heal… with emotional wounds there are always scars even if they only serve as reminders of how God pulls us through things. I also know that a wound like losing a son is not something that ever REALLY heals in this life. It gets better, it gets easier to handle and the pain subsides over time but in the long run the scab only falls off when we are reunited after this life. I read this line on Dan’s blog and it really makes a great point. I can’t tell you that I have ever had an “event” that made the pain less, but I can look back over the last 18 months and see steps on the journey where God left a marker.

I think one of those markers on the journey is probably coming up soon when Ann and I go to Little Rock to visit friends.  I hope that this visit helps to heal some of the wounds that I caused, and some that I caused myself when I left Little Rock hard and fast. I haven’t ever felt like I made that right.

Those of you who were involved with the youth groups at Grace Church in Little Rock (you know who you are) will appreciate this.

Last night I was sitting at dinner with my wife and my brother’s family when from a nearby table a group of kids begin to pick at one another and the argument was ended abruptly with the phrase “Yeah, well.. YOUR FACE!” (Reference here)

It’s not original… but I’ll always associate that phrase with LR.

Face.

After a week or two of a break from work, Arkansas and blogging I have returned.

The wife and I enjoyed a few days back home with friends and family, a couple of nights of great concerts and some EXCELLENT Japaneese food. I may very well be in love with Japaneese food from Mikato Steakhouse. I’m glad my wife doesn’t mind. She almost has the right to be jealous.

We stayed a couple of nights with each of our parents, and 3 nights with Josh and Rebekah. Rebekah’s sister Anna and friend Rachel tagged along for Big Spring Jam, which was cool except that the ONE FREAKING SHOW I WANTED TO SEE GOT RAINED OUT!!!!!!!!!! Yep, the Charlie Daniels concert was rained out. Now, I would have saved myself a buttload of money if it hadn’t have been for the CDB show. I didn’t really give a flip about the rest of it. A day pass to see Third Day might have been all I would have bought.

Ok… deep breath… i’m good.

How about Rowland said “Pissed off at God” this morning in church.. funny stuff. Write your comment cards now.

Ok, i’m distracted.

Anyway, so as you can see my train of thought left the tracks a long time ago, and i’ve got to really get back into the swing at work this week. Lots to be done.

Chappelle’s show is funny. (I’m RICK JAMES!)

That is all.

Here in Little Rock I find myself surrounded by nothing but rabid Arkansas Razorback fans. The buzz of anticipation is growing louder and louder as the Kickoff of the 2005 football season begins. I can’t seem to find any inspiration to be excited. I am just starting to get back into watching college football, and now that I am living in this foreign land known as Arkansas, I think i’m going back into my football-less state of mind again. I can’t openly say “Roll Tide” without fear of being beaten with these God-awful rubber pig hats I see in stores around here.

But finally it occured to me in the shower yesterday what i’m looking forward to this fall! I am looking forward to Razorback football games! I really am.. I can’t wait for the hard hitting, grass stained, “woo-pig-sooie” of it all!!!

Why this sudden change of heart you ask???

It’s very simple. It means that all these rabid fans will be at home watching their beloved team on TV, and I will be able to get a seat at my favorite restaurants more easily! By my estimation, about 4 in every 5 cars here has a razorback sticker/tag cover/window cling/toothless redneck yelling woo-pig on or in it. That is actually more people than have tags on their cars here. If only 3 of those 4 are actually watching the game, that means that for a period of several hours they will be otherwise occupied! Me and the other of the 5 will be out enjoying a nice quiet meal.
So there you go, Arkansans… that’s my deal. When I say “YEA! Arkansas, everyone should watch the game!” What I actually mean is “I’ll have the orange peel shrimp and an appetizer of Crab Wontons and Diet Coke” at P.F. Changs.