When Ann and I left Arkansas a year and a half ago, we both agreed that we didn’t forsee any reason to go back. Ever. Sure, there were some people we liked, cared about and even a few who we had become good friends with. When we left, there were some hurt feelings and I will be the first to tell you that those hurt feelings were justified. I left the way I did because I didn’t see another option, but it still wasn’t a great way to leave.

A few weeks ago we decided that it was time to go back and visit some of the people we had left behind, and all in all we had a great visit. I’m really glad we went back because I feel like I got to wrap up some lose ends I left undone.

On the lighter side, here are some things we decided that we missed or didn’t miss from Little Rock

Things I miss about Little Rock:

• My boss
• The great friends we made (including my boss), even though most of them don’t live in Little Rock any more.
• “The Palatial Citadel Radio Center”©
• Radio People
• Whole Hog BBQ
• Fu Lin Chineese
• Cozymel’s
• Peanut butter milkshakes from the Purple Cow
• Java Roasting Company
• Being 2 miles from a Target
• Being 6 miles from a Rave Theatre
• Having free reign over my schedule, so long as the job got done. (I never came in under 40 hours unless I meant to).
• High Powered Transmitters
• The smell of 50+ year old electronics at a transmitter site.
• The wisdom of some of the most respected people in Broadcasting, and having their approval for a job well done.
• Messing with DJs and News people.
• The shock value of telling someone directions that included “When the Interstate comes to a traffic light, turn right”.

Things I Don’t Miss about Little Rock

• Crazy, horrible drivers
• That obnoxious “woo-pig-sooie” thing
• Rent that costs more per month than my weekly salary (The rent there would almost be more than I make in a week now, just misses by a few $)
• There really isn’t much to do in Little Rock when you take going to a bar out of the equation.
• Eating too much of the wrong things (see my “Things I miss” list above)
• Drama from radio people
• Screwed up roads.
• “Clinton” anything.
• Being away from family.
• Being on call all the time, although it did give me something to do when I was bored.
• Guitar Center (if that’s the best music store you’ve got, i’ll just do without, thanks).
• Sadly, I don’t miss the church I attended simply because I really wasn’t there long enough to really get attached, and what time I was there the place was in a total state of flux. No offense to anyone from there. I do miss lots of people from church who became great friends, but I don’t miss the church as a whole.

I guess you can gather that this list is not comprehensive, and I hope everyone can read the list and not get offended (or the big-head, depending on which section you fall under).

Moving to Little Rock was the best thing ever for my career, it made my marraige incredibly strong because we had to rely on one another and I gained so much life experience from my time there. In the end, it came down to being with my family and making “mama happy” (Ann being “mama” in this situation). A wise man told me once that “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”. How true.

I won’t say that my life now is better in every way, but it is so great to be home. It’s great to really feel at home.

That sucked

Alabama -23  Georgia -26

In the Alabama - Arkansas game on Saturday night one of Arkansas players took Justin Britt’s helmet and hit him in the head with it and no one seems to want to talk about it!

Last year we had the Miami - FIU debacle, and they STILL play footage of that every time Miami is mentioned on ESPN.

Why is no one talking about this?

I just spent the last 45 minutes about to vomit and with 14 seconds on the clock somehow Bama managed to pull it out. The baby was terrified because my brother and I both jumped up screaming at the top of our not so small lungs.
Things here were very  tense for the entire second half. That’s not good enough to get us in the top 25 this week, but it does keep us from having to hear the jawing from Arkansas fans all week.

I hope they enjoyed the shut-up juice. Sorry it was so late.

That quote comes from Dan Case’s blog. Dan is a friend and former boss of mine and this isn’t at all the first time that Dan has said something that stopped me in my tracks.

Dan is one of the people who stood by Ann and I when we found out that something was wrong and we would likely lose Caed.  I had a lot of people around me who were great and provided such great support but Dan and I had a special connection. I think Dan probably had the perfect boss/employee relationship, we respected one another and it showed. We were really a team. More importantly we held each other up. Dan supported me for the long months between finding out we would lose Caed and actually losing him.

I am rambling, but the point I am trying to make is that over the last few years I have earned a few scars. Some of those wounds behind the scars have been deep.. very, very deep. Losing a child and leaving a job I loved have proven to be some of the hardest things I have ever done. I know that wounds heal… with emotional wounds there are always scars even if they only serve as reminders of how God pulls us through things. I also know that a wound like losing a son is not something that ever REALLY heals in this life. It gets better, it gets easier to handle and the pain subsides over time but in the long run the scab only falls off when we are reunited after this life. I read this line on Dan’s blog and it really makes a great point. I can’t tell you that I have ever had an “event” that made the pain less, but I can look back over the last 18 months and see steps on the journey where God left a marker.

I think one of those markers on the journey is probably coming up soon when Ann and I go to Little Rock to visit friends.  I hope that this visit helps to heal some of the wounds that I caused, and some that I caused myself when I left Little Rock hard and fast. I haven’t ever felt like I made that right.