I just got out of a conversation with one of my managers/good friends at work. We have very spirited debates over government issues, and while I think overall he is conservative his fiscal ideas and mine just don’t gee-haw.

As most of you dear readers know, I often make Ronald Reagan look moderate ®. I believe that we all have to pitch in for roads/common defense and a few other minor things but otherwise the government needs to get their grubby hands off my money and get a damn job. WORK for the money we give you, Government… WORK for it.

Anyway, we were discussing the economic stimulus package (hehe… stimulus package… aw, nevermind). He thinks that we shouldn’t be getting money back because we are in a deficit, and that money could be used to fix bridges or something. Now, I’m not clear on how exactly fixing bridges helps the deficit, but maybe I missed something in my 12th grade Economics class.

My argument is two-fold:

1. It’s my money in the first place. If I want a bridge built with it, I’ll contribute to the “build a bridge” fund. If I want my family to eat instead, I will buy groceries. Ya see, it’s my money. Last I checked the Government hadn’t particularly done me (a young white guy) any particular favors. Why should I let them pick where my money goes? Sure, they might fix a bridge, but they’ll probably fix a bridge in Alaska that goes to nowhere.
2. As long as there is welfare for able-bodied people, wasteful Government spending and moron politicians trying to tell me everything I can and cannot do, I will complain about taxes. Taxation is necessary for the continuation of basic services that only a sovereign government can provide, such as defense. When I drive by the projects and see 3 or 4 people driving Escalades, and a box for a big screen TV on the side of the road I get pissed. My family could have used that money (the money I earned and had to give to the Gov’t) to pay a mortgage payment or save for retirement. Instead, we further the drug culture by huddling people together who are bored and don’t have anything better to do than get in trouble. I digress

Until someone shows me why the Government is taking my money and doing something good with it, I don’t have to like paying taxes.

No… really: I’m not trying to enjoy a quiet dinner with my family. It’s perfectly acceptable to interrupt my meal to tell me how cute my child is 3, maybe 4 times. Really.

No… really: I understand that there is a big push for everyone to “Go Green”. Sure, it takes more gas to run your alternator in the car so the battery can recharge but I’m quite sure using your turn signal won’t make Al Gore cry.

No… really: It’s perfectly acceptable to turn left from the center lane in 6 lanes of traffic.  That’s why I paid extra for the anti-lock brakes.

No… really: I actually did take your parking place on purpose, because I really like getting nasty looks from total strangers. In fact, I love it so much that I paid your neighbor to give me a call when you left the house, I tracked you with a GPS mounted in my car and timed my approach to “your” parking place perfectly just so you could sneer at me out the window. Oh, and that bag of dog food you came here for? I’ll be getting the last one of those too.

No… really: I actually prefer having food thrown at me through a tiny window in the side of a building. It’s almost a sport! Will you be able to get my super-McFatty burger through the window? Will I catch it? How much of my hypocritical diet soda will be left in the cup after it has tumbled 3 or 4 times through my truck?
Maybe they should put sensors on the window that buzz if you hit the sides like the old game “Operation”. This would undoubtedly add a new level of competition to the game.

No… really: I like people. Honest. Scouts Honor.

Aw, who am I kidding?