My current job continues, thought the stress has really lifted. I have a lot to do because I don’t have any intention of leaving them high and dry, but at this point I am not worried about minutia. I’m trying to put together some documentation for the next guy or whoever has to take over when I leave, which is an impossible task. We have a relatively small setup in the scope of things, but small systems come with their own complexities when they are used the way we use them.

They wanted me to consult for them for 60 days on the off chance they needed something (which I wasn’t really thrilled about in the first place). They offered way too little money, especially given that I am the only person who knows THAT system. It just proves to me that leaving is the right thing to do. I counter-offered and they refused and wished me luck. I may have burned a bridge there, but I asked what I thought was a fair price given that I would be expected to put up with the same crap for another 2 months. Other than the fact that I had a specific purpose in mind for the money, my feelings aren’t really hurt that they turned it down.

Today was the best day I have had in a long time. The weight lifted off my shoulders feels so nice. I still have a TON of work to do before my 2 weeks are up, not to mention getting all the stuff out of my office (I’ve considered renting a truck… it’s not really that bad, but it’s close).

I wore blue jeans to work today. Because I can. Also, because I won’t be able to in the new job so I am enjoying it while I’ve got it.

I started documenting the system today and realized how much I just… know… about this network. It’s stuff that no one else on the planet knows and its kinda cool. It is also daunting because in 2 weeks I have to dump all that knowledge to paper and I am bound to forget something. I’m one of those people who can’t remember my own name unless it is important that I know it at that moment. When something breaks, the synapses just fire and the information comes back. 5 minutes before that I couldn’t have told you anything about it. This network has been my “baby” for 2.5 years and that’s a long time in a world where machines have a 3 year life cycle.

Anyway, the weight being off my shoulders really lightened up my day. I managed to make it through the day with minimal stress. It has been a good day.

God is good. Life is good.

I know that my blog has been really cryptic and odd over the last few weeks, but I can finally let out what has been going on.

Today, I turned in my 2 week notice at my current job to take a job with a hospital as a Network Specialist. It was not an easy decision. The money only kinda makes sense, but I feel like it is the right thing. I’ll be much closer to home, have more time off and and better retirement. The down side is I will have to start paying for health insurance again, but in reality that benefit was a once in a lifetime deal anyway.
Thank you so much for your prayers and thoughts through this!

I know, the title is cliché, but my life this last 3 or 4 weeks has been an exercise in learning to trust God.

Ann and I have been through lots of stuff in 5 years of marriage. We’ve moved 4 times, had 6 jobs (between the 2 of us) and attended 4 different churches. We lost a child, now we have a great little boy. We’ve had money in the bank and we’ve been broke. We’ve had sickness and we’ve seen healing. We know and acknowledge God’s hand in all of it. Looking back, I know God has been there through all of it, yet in the last few weeks I have had the most difficult time really trusting that God has my life in his hands.

Psalm 37:25 says

I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread

I know that God has never left me. Not one thing I have come up against has ever been bigger than Him, yet in some way I have this feeling that I can’t let go and stop worrying about things. Somehow I have gotten the idea that my plans have to be in order for Him to do his work, and the revelation I have gotten this weekend is that my plans don’t mean anything.

Again, I “know” that in my mind, but knowing that He is going to handle it and actually trusting him to do it have proven to be two very different things.

I really got released from it all today. That came as a combination of things. First, in my prayer time last night (which sounds much more “Holier than thou” than it should) God really spoke to my heart and revealed some things that cut me to the bone. When I woke up this morning, my life looked very different than it did last night.

Second, we had an awesome worship service this morning which spoke to my heart and gave me an opportunity to thank Him for the change he has started in my life. I know that I can do that on my own, but something about doing that as a part of corporate worship made it even better.

Third, Ann was speaking with someone from life group who knows what we are struggling with and who has some knowledge of the other side of our situation who really had some encouraging words and good news about how things might turn out. Of course, I won’t know until tomorrow what that looks like.

I have actually been sleeping pretty well lately because I have worn myself completely out worrying all day about what is going to happen next, but tonight I have a feeling I will be awake all night. The difference is, this time it’s because I am excited to see what God has in store for us next. That’s a really great feeling.

What ever God has in store for me, I know it will be enough.

From WKRP in Cincinnati:

See the whole episode here. It’s worth the 24 minutes.