I know, the title is cliché, but my life this last 3 or 4 weeks has been an exercise in learning to trust God.

Ann and I have been through lots of stuff in 5 years of marriage. We’ve moved 4 times, had 6 jobs (between the 2 of us) and attended 4 different churches. We lost a child, now we have a great little boy. We’ve had money in the bank and we’ve been broke. We’ve had sickness and we’ve seen healing. We know and acknowledge God’s hand in all of it. Looking back, I know God has been there through all of it, yet in the last few weeks I have had the most difficult time really trusting that God has my life in his hands.

Psalm 37:25 says

I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread

I know that God has never left me. Not one thing I have come up against has ever been bigger than Him, yet in some way I have this feeling that I can’t let go and stop worrying about things. Somehow I have gotten the idea that my plans have to be in order for Him to do his work, and the revelation I have gotten this weekend is that my plans don’t mean anything.

Again, I “know” that in my mind, but knowing that He is going to handle it and actually trusting him to do it have proven to be two very different things.

I really got released from it all today. That came as a combination of things. First, in my prayer time last night (which sounds much more “Holier than thou” than it should) God really spoke to my heart and revealed some things that cut me to the bone. When I woke up this morning, my life looked very different than it did last night.

Second, we had an awesome worship service this morning which spoke to my heart and gave me an opportunity to thank Him for the change he has started in my life. I know that I can do that on my own, but something about doing that as a part of corporate worship made it even better.

Third, Ann was speaking with someone from life group who knows what we are struggling with and who has some knowledge of the other side of our situation who really had some encouraging words and good news about how things might turn out. Of course, I won’t know until tomorrow what that looks like.

I have actually been sleeping pretty well lately because I have worn myself completely out worrying all day about what is going to happen next, but tonight I have a feeling I will be awake all night. The difference is, this time it’s because I am excited to see what God has in store for us next. That’s a really great feeling.

What ever God has in store for me, I know it will be enough.